There is this fine line I walk as a single mother. I am always looking to balance out the time I spend making money to provide a quality of life for my children, and actually enjoying the fruits of my labor with the quality time I spend with them. I cringe when I think about how baby girl spends x amount of hours a day at daycare, and only has x amount of hours in the evening with me and the man-child. But I remember that the man-child grew up in a similar fashion and he’s making out ok. A mama’s gotta do what she’s gotta. So I have.
I spent years working and working to basically earn enough money to feel like I could breath. And I did. I did well enough that I quit my corporate job back in December. Yeah, the single mama decided to end the only stream of income. And the kicker is, I did it so that I could find work that paid considerably less. But the work would be close to home, close to the children, and doing something I was much more passionate about.
I have been living off of some savings and a lil help from my supportive family and friends for the last few months. And next week I will start work again. I will be working VERY close to home, seeing my children considerably more, and doing something I’ve wanted to do for a while. And I have learned a great lesson from all of this. I have learned what it means to live in FAITH.
I have learned that faith really is the belief of the unseen. I had to have faith in God that the Universe would provide everything that I needed and wanted. There is no room for worry. I made the difficult decision not to worry about the unknown. I didn’t worry about when my savings would run out. I didn’t worry about how I would make my car payment or mortgage the next month. I just lived (nothing had gone unpaid or delinquent). I enjoyed the extra time with my children. And things have worked out in an amazing way for me over the last few months. I have been in such a state of awe and gratitude over it all.
I am not posting this to tell all the single mamas out there to run out and quit your job. That part of the decision was something I had prayed and planned for over the last year. This post is a reminder to myself of what it means to follow my dreams and truly believe that those dreams can be reality.
I feel so vindicated now when I tell the man-child that whatever it is he wants in life can be his. And that if he believes and works hard then the Universe will ensure that things align in his favor. It’s a personal testimony now. And I see the pride in his eyes when I tell him about what I did and why. He thinks I’m a pretty awesome mama.
And I’ll soak all that up before he turns 13 and doesn’t want to give me a hug in front of his classmates.