Mama Bear

the offspring enjoying the first snow of the 2012 winter season

the offspring enjoying the first snow of the 2012 winter season as I watch from the kitchen window

The darkness of this season feels like a continuous tug at my spirit.  I straighten my back, lift my head and attempt to shake off the mood of depression that hovers over me.  My children wonder why I want to sleep so much and stay inside.  It’s such a change from the hustle and bustle of Spring, Summer and early Fall.  But I persevere because they need their mama WHOLE.

I miss MY mama. I want her to come and make me soup and give me toasty wool socks and a flannel blanket.  I want to curl up under her and just rest a little bit. But I straighten my back, lift my head and attempt to shake off the mood of depression that hovers over me.  My children wonder why I don’t laugh so much anymore. I persevere because they need their mama whole. They need their mama happy.

Winter time is when I make a very concious effort to get out of the house with my children and visit family and friends. My first thoughts as I wake in the morning are “I want to go back to sleep, it’s too cold and dark to wake now.”

Perhaps in a former life I was a bear that hibernates and bypasses this dreary, useless season.

For now, in this life I am mama to two Winter loving children.  I’m going to straighten my back, lift my head and shake off this mood. I’m going to curl the corners of my mouth into a smile and be WHOLE because they need their mama.