Mama Bear

the offspring enjoying the first snow of the 2012 winter season

the offspring enjoying the first snow of the 2012 winter season as I watch from the kitchen window

The darkness of this season feels like a continuous tug at my spirit.  I straighten my back, lift my head and attempt to shake off the mood of depression that hovers over me.  My children wonder why I want to sleep so much and stay inside.  It’s such a change from the hustle and bustle of Spring, Summer and early Fall.  But I persevere because they need their mama WHOLE.

I miss MY mama. I want her to come and make me soup and give me toasty wool socks and a flannel blanket.  I want to curl up under her and just rest a little bit. But I straighten my back, lift my head and attempt to shake off the mood of depression that hovers over me.  My children wonder why I don’t laugh so much anymore. I persevere because they need their mama whole. They need their mama happy.

Winter time is when I make a very concious effort to get out of the house with my children and visit family and friends. My first thoughts as I wake in the morning are “I want to go back to sleep, it’s too cold and dark to wake now.”

Perhaps in a former life I was a bear that hibernates and bypasses this dreary, useless season.

For now, in this life I am mama to two Winter loving children.  I’m going to straighten my back, lift my head and shake off this mood. I’m going to curl the corners of my mouth into a smile and be WHOLE because they need their mama.

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One thought on “Mama Bear

  1. I read your post a few days ago and thought about it for awhile. I tend to think of my depression hitting in January, but now I see that the need to stay indoors and sleep is here with me now. Thank goodness for those children that like to get outdoors. If my little one is dressed appropriately, she can stay out for hours, which teaches me a lesson about also dressing warmly for the season. While I’ve always enjoyed snow, she makes the latest dump of snow seem like so much fun!

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